Mixed Feelings!

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”       Joshua 1:9


This morning I woke up, looking forward to a day trip to NY, but also a little concerned how it would be spending the day with my Amish cousins. Cousin Daniel talked the whole two hours and was very interesting. If I wouldn’t have been driving, I would have taken notes to remember all the interesting tidbits of his one sided conversation. His small, sweet, quiet wife, Betty, lovingly referred to him as honey, so I knew they had a good relationship. Daniel has a very long white beard and a full head of long white hair that curled up around his black rim hat.


When we arrived at my first cousin Daniel’s sister home, we were greeted with a big hug. Mary Ann was very happy to see us and she was especially happy to see my brother Atlee, because they grew up together in the Amish community. One thing about the Amish, you shake hands with everyone when you arrive. Mary Ann has two special needs daughters and Erma was very sweet and remembered my name the whole day. I was really surprised; I can hardly remember names at all. 


The highlight of my day was when Irene brought in homemade donuts. Irene is Mary Ann’s daughter and she makes donuts to sell at the Produce Sale. $1 each and they are worth every penny, but we got ours free. YUM! While I was enjoying the delicious donuts I was working on gathering information for my genealogy, sitting at the table, right where the donuts were.  Did you notice I said donuts; I had one and a half. I could have eaten the whole pan of them, but I controlled myself. I wish now, I would have asked if I could buy the leftovers.


Little by little cousins arrived with contributions, and at lunch time we had a feast. There were about 15-20 people, or should I say, 15-20 relatives came for lunch.     


In my silence I tried to remember who was married to whom, who the children belonged to and how each was related to me. After I got my genealogy out again, things started to make sense and I started to understand how we were related.  The genealogy conversation lead to stories and I found out a few interesting things,  like after my oldest aunt died her husband needed someone to take care of his big family, so he hired a girl to keep house. After a month or so he thought maybe she would like to marry him. She was 30 years younger, but that didn’t stop him. He asked and she said yes. Soon after she was in the hospital having his baby and the nurse said, “Your grandfather is here to see you.” She said, “That’s not my grandfather, that’s my husband.”


Not all the genealogy errors are my fault. According to My aunt’s husband information he was 105 years old when he died.  Mary Ann said, “That’s not right.”  So I looked it up in the letters they sent me and they had the date written that he was 105 years old when he died.  How am I supposed to know what information is right or wrong. I believe no matter how hard I try, I will have mistakes in this huge genealogy.


Before we left, Mary Ann’s son came in with a peck basket full of vary large sweet onions. He told us to take what we wanted. What I wanted was the half a dozen left over donuts.  I took two onions, because that was what everyone else was taking. One lady said, “Tsvivvel sandwich!”  Then smelled the onions and said, “The onions don’t even smell strong. Sweet!”  Not as sweet as those delicious donuts.


Mary Ann’s daughter-in-law made the main dish and homemade bread. As she was leaving she was asking her mom and others if they wanted the leftover bread. No one wanted it, so she asked me. Well, of course I wanted it, but not as much as those donuts.


The ride home was the same, Daniel had stories and we loved listening. Atlee and Daniel started telling dear hunting stories and Daniel did have a very interesting one. Atlee had one also, actually, I don’t know which story was more interesting, but Daniel’s was definitely more entertaining.


Almost at their home, Daniel and Betty sort of hinted about going to Mesopotamia’s remolded General Store, so we went. They wanted to take Atlee and I out to get a sandwich. What a nice time, the whole day was nice with a group of great people.


What an experience, I felt guilty having a book about how they shun their wayward family members and they don’t even know about my book.  I feel like a traitor, because they were so nice to me. What have I done?  I felt guilty that I enjoyed something that my parents couldn’t have, lunch and fellowship with family. I wish I could go back and start over, if only I wouldn’t have gotten involved in their lives, with this genealogy. This is not easy for me. Then God reminds me, “I have you right where I want you!”    


One Response to Mixed Feelings!

  • Marjo says:

    What wonderful words to hear from Jesus…“I have you right where I want you!” And to think… He wants you surrounded by donuts. Did you like them? Ha! Blessings to you as you walk in His way and follow His will.